My favorite singer

is on the Carson Daly show tonight. She will be singing some songs. Her name is Quincy Coleman. I'm so happy for her. Tivo it. You will be happy you did.

CREDIT

If your name is not on something you made did you still make that something? YES.

Mommas Man, a film I very proudly play the lead in, was accepted into the Sundance Film Festival. I dreamed about this. In fact, while on the set of the movie I had a vision that this would happen. I believed so much in my director, the producers, the costume people, the sound people and the loft we shot the movie in. I knew. it felt right. And honest. And loved.

And when the announcement came out, in the trades, on the internet, my name was not on the CAST CREDITS. I went to a very young, familiar place that I can go sometimes. I went to Left-Out land. Left out from the my brother's group of friends at 9 years old. Suddenly, I forgot that I had made the movie. That I played a lead role. That I loved my experience. That I dreamed this to happen...Sundance!! I started "not caring" about the achievement. Started "not thinking it a big deal to be in the festival." Started detaching...so as to protect my heart from hurting.

AHA. I was hurt. No one did this intentionally. I was not left out. A mistake was made. My name accidentally not put on the first press release. EGO, yes! How will people in the business know that I am in a movie? If a tree falls in the forest...that whole thing.

I got quiet. Shared with those who love me most. Got advice. Told my 9 year old to calm down. To come from love...not fear. Trusted. Trusted in myself, my director, my producers, the team. remembered that they care. And now it is okay. Mistakes can be fixed and they have been. I know that because I make them everyday. And I fix them as best I can.

That kid in me has a big part of him that felt the world was out to get him. It is not. I am in the process of re-teaching my 9 year old that no one was out to get me. That...well..shit happens, sometimes.

When I lifted the pangs, or rather when I got quiet enough that the pangs could be lifted, I felt IT! Excited, overjoyed, celebratory. MY MOVIE GOT INTO SUNDANCE!!

Fear not Love. fear not love. So simple. So true.

Sent in from John from New Jersey

LEVEL OUT

At the moment I feel like I have four main "pillars" in my life -
relationship, work, family and my home (the actual space)

What I've come to notice is that it's very rare for all of those pillars
to be "in order" at the same time. There is always, at least one that is
a bit "off/in-flux/whatever"

For example...from a "relationship" standpoint, I couldn't be happier. On
the professional front...my company is humming right now.

By the way, both of these areas have only recently "leveled out". In fact,
a few months ago, both of those were a bit fucked up...and my "family" and
"home" were tight. Now, there's a bit of a ripple in the family (gotta
love how that happens right before the holidays)...and I have a nice leak
in the roof of my home (actually waiting for contractors to show up as I
sit here - they are already an hour late)

You know, I'm not even sure I can remember the last time when the entire
"house was in order". In fact, I don't even know what I would do if it
was. I might lose my fucking mind if there wasn't one thing that needed
some attention (ha)

Honestly, though...when I think about the fact that something will
probably always be a bit "off", it kind of makes me laugh...and even gives
me this sense of "peace" (I guess just knowing that's how life works is
helpful in some crazy way)

It's sort of like the ocean...the waves come in "sets". Sometimes you sit
out there and it's calm for a minute...but you're always prepared for that
next set of waves


Lyrics: Bright Eyes / Level Out

When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse All
your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out

Got a cricket for a conscience always looks the other way
A cocaine soul starts seeming like an empty cabaret
Hey, where have all the dancers gone? Now the music doesn't play
Tried to listen to the river but you couldn't shut your mouth
Better take a little time to level out

I never thought of running
My feet just led the way

Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the crazy rain
I could meet you any place
If the Brakeman turns my way

All this automatic writing I have tried to understand
From a psychedelic angel who was tugging on my hand
It's an infinite coincidence but it doesn't form a plan
So I'm headed for New England or the Paris of the South
Gonna find myself somewhere to level out

Are your brothels full, Oh Babylon, with merry Middlemen?
Never peer out of their periscopes from those deep opium dens
All this death must need a counterweight always someone born again First a
mother bathes her child then the other way around
The Scales always find a way to level out

I tried to pass for nothing
But my dreams gave me away

Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
People snuffed out in the brutal rain
I could live to any age
If the Brakeman turns my way

It is an old world it's hard to remember
Like a dime store mystery
I'm a repeat first time offender
Who has rewritten history

Mixed up tea leaves
Phantom Pain
Fuzzy logic in the crazy rain
Getting better every day
If the Brakeman turns my way
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the blinding rain
He'll be smiling as he seals my fate
When the Brakeman turns my way